Author: Communications and IT | Multiples BOP

I once knew a lady who had a set of twins and then a couple of years down the track, had a set of triplets. At the time, all I saw and thought was how amazingly lucky she was to have 5 beautiful children!!  This was before I had my own children and therefore I truly didn’t understand what this meant in terms of hard work, sleepless nights etc.  Fast forward a few years and I would have a better understanding than I could have ever imagined.

To say my first pregnancy was a walk in the park, would be false.  My husband Lance and I were told at our 20-week scan that Twin 2, our little girl Indie, was severely growth restricted.  I would require regular monitoring and ultrasound scans.  At 28 weeks, I was put on bedrest in the hope that I would make it to 30 weeks at least.  I made it to 30 weeks and each day after that was a bonus, as Indie’s blood flow started to show increased resistance through the umbilical cord.  At 34 weeks and 3 days, the obstetrician decided enough was enough and scheduled a caesarean section.  It was a very traumatic time and I’m sure a lot of you can relate.  Max and Indie were whipped out and transferred to the SCBU with Lance in tow.  I however, was left lying on the operating table in shock, hoping that my pigeon pair were ok.  Lance and I had both been prepped for what might eventuate but you truly don’t understand until you are in the moment.  Max and Indie spent the next 4 weeks in both the ICU and SCBU units of the hospital, learning to feed and gaining much needed weight.  Finally, we could bring them home and begin our lives as a family of 4.

When Max and Indie were 2 years old, we moved from Brisbane, Australia to Tauranga, New Zealand.  It was about this time that Lance and I started to entertain the idea of having another child.  Prior to this, there is absolutely no way we would have considered it.  We were soooooooooo tired!!!!

It wasn’t until I was 8 weeks pregnant and driving to the Radiology clinic for our first scan, that I decided to google “chances of having a second set of twins after having fraternal twins.” Great timing.  Google came back with a chance of 1 in 12.  At the time, I remember thinking that sounded quite high, but brushed it off, “as if that would happen to us.”  Sure enough, it did happen to us!!!!  As soon as the sonographer began the scan I could see two little sacs with two tiny embryos.  I will never forget the look on Lance’s face when the Sonographer turned to me and said, “well aren’t you a clever girl.”  Poor Lance took the rest of the day off work and went for a 50-km bike ride to process this new development (well actually, make that 2 new developments), only to return later that day to assure me that everything would be fine and that we had better start looking for a new car!!! Most people that we told including our families, thought we were joking.  “How is that possible,” they would say.  Even now, when people ask about our children, they are left gobsmacked when we mention our 2 sets of twins. To us, it’s just normal.  We know no different and to be honest, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

My 2^nd pregnancy went a lot smoother than the first.  Our beautiful little girls Sophie and Isabelle were born at 36 weeks and 4 days.  They roomed in with me from the start and we were home within the week.

The second time around was a lot easier than the first.  I think the second time around you don’t have the uncertainty and know what to expect to some degree.  Obviously, we had more children but we were lucky as Max and Indie were so helpful and we included them (as much as possible) in bathing, dressing and keeping the babies entertained.  For a while, we had 4 children under the age of 4 and I won’t lie, it was a relentless, tiring time in our lives. The first year of all my children’s lives is a complete blur but I can honestly say that we are finally starting to come out the other side and feel so, so blessed that we were given the gift of two sets of twins.   Our days are long and our nights can seem even longer (well not as long as those nights with newborn twins……….insert shiver here), but the years are short and fly by.  My biggest advice would be to do what works for your family and your family only.  We have had the odd person/family member criticise some of our parenting choices but it’s no one else’s business except ours.  Ask and accept as much help as you can (I have only learnt to ask for help now and my oldest ones are almost 6).  Try to attend something as simple as playgroup.  Honestly, I used to dread the thought of it (particularly in the early days because I was just so tired) but boy can it be a lifesaver.  Being able to communicate with people who are in the exact situation as you are.  I always used to walk away thinking how wonderful it was that I made the effort and how nice it was to catch up with other people who also may be struggling to see the light.  Finally, don’t feel bad if your house is always a mess.  And for that matter, don’t feel bad if you are the opposite and you like to have a tidy house.  Whatever works for you and keeps you sane I say.

I often think back to the lady that had the twins and then the triplets and although I can now relate, to some degree of what she went through, my feelings of her being extremely lucky have never changed.

My name is Nicole, and I grew up in a small town on the outskirts of Johannesburg, South Africa with my younger sister Heidi and our wonderful parents.  I enjoyed the simple and easy life of a small neighbourhood and living in a town where everyone knew all about your life.  After school, most of my friends went to university and others left to go to Europe.  I just wanted to be financially independent and earn the big bucks. I went on a mission and eventually landed a job in the “big city” my parents were not too keen on me moving away but they supported me anyway.

Life was good; I enjoyed the idea of working in the corporate world being surrounded by people that gave whatever it took to make money.  I kept my head down and worked away to get “the title” “the reputation” or whatever was perceived by me at the time to make me happy.  I bought my first house and enjoyed the carefree days that followed. A few years later I became good friends with a work colleague, we enjoyed each other’s company and would hang out with other work colleagues from time to time, little did I know he was my future husband, I wouldn’t believe you if you told me so then.  How could I ever be so lucky to marry my best friend?  It was about three years later that one day we literally fell, and I mean fell without any warning in love.  It was a huge challenge from a work point of view, as personal relationships were against company policy, but as it turns out, we were blindly in love and would do whatever it took to be together, I moved on to a new company and we made it happen.

We dated for one year and he proposed to me – I never expected it.  He caught me by surprise in every possible way.  So on this roller-coaster, we went – full on.  We got married in a beautiful coastal town on the beach, a picture perfect, intimate wedding with our closest friends and loved ones.  We were so happy and content; we worked hard and rewarded ourselves with great holidays.  We spoke about having kids one day but were not too concerned about it at the time.  About a year later I received a call from my doctor (I would go for my annual doctor’s check up every year, pap-smear, etc.) to come and see him regarding my latest results.  It turns out that they found abnormal cells on my uterus and that they needed to operate.  So I went through the procedure and it all turned out fine, except for the one comment the doctor made that changed our goals instantly.  There was a possibility that my condition could affect both my fertility and my ability to carry a baby to term. Now this sounds a little over the top I thought but given that I have a family with a history of cancer I didn’t want to play around with a maybe or could be.  So we both decided that would try to have a baby, no big deal just take one day at a time and see how we went along the journey. I still remember saying that we try for a year and if it doesn’t happen we go on our Sydney holiday that we had been saving for at the time and then maybe consider going to a fertility clinic.

Yeah right! About eight months later –  I remember having great difficulty sipping my champagne at a Gatsby theme party in Cape Town.  I knew something was up, we arrived back in Johannesburg on a Sunday night, and the first thing on Monday morning I drove past the pharmacy to get a home pregnancy test, and what do you know two very faint little lines appeared. I was not convinced, so I made an appointment with the pathology lab to have blood tests done, and they confirmed that I was three weeks pregnant.  Wow! We were absolutely ecstatic and terrified at the same time.  I set up an appointment with my gynaecologist so that I could have the absolute confirmation in my head that I was going to be a mom.  So off we went for our very first ultrasound at four weeks.  The doctor had a very serious look on her face as she was moving the probe around on my tummy and I asked (out of the blue) if there were two? Like two heartbeats? She looked very surprised and said that we shouldn’t be happy or scared yet but yes there were two heart beats!  So there we were going from let’s try for a baby, to we are HAVING TWINS!

My pregnancy was hectic. I had morning sickness from around three months until the day after the boys were born.  I gained 30kg and waddled like a duck most of the time; heartburn was part of my every day.  It was not my best season in life but I embraced it and I was grateful that the boys were developing well and that I was healthy.

January in the middle of summer in Johannesburg temperatures reaching 35 degrees, and I was so uncomfortable. I had terrible back pain the night before and what I thought were Braxton hicks – I struggled to get myself out of bed the next morning but finally got in the car to go to the gynaecologist for my 34-week check-up.   She confirmed that I had been in labour and that I needed an emergency caesarian there and then.

At 13:45 pm our two perfect little boys, Daniel and Miguel were born.  They spent ten days in NICU where we had unbelievable support from staff – I was able to room in with them for three days. It was not easy to go home without them, but I was at the hospital every three hours during the day to breastfeed, and the positive was that the time they spent in the hospital gave us the opportunity to wrap our heads around the fact that we had two tiny guys to take care of. We were certainly more prepared at home that we would have been if we took them home after a full term pregnancy.

We now live in sunny Tauranga with our energetic, but delightful 3-year-old boys, they may look the same, but they are very much different in the best ways.  They are both wonderful helpers around the home and have a contagious sense of humour.

Daniel and Miguel are both at Kindy during the weekday mornings, while my husband, Rui, works during the day and I attend to our home and all the administration that goes with stay home mum duties.  On our days off we enjoy the beautiful Tauranga beaches and parks.